FRIDAY.—ELIZABETH SMITH was placed in the dock, snivelling and blowing her nose with the corner of her apron, representing one of your “seen but by few, yet blushing to be seen” ladies, charged with having been despatched with an embassy to the butcher’s, at ten o’clock in the morning, for the purpose of procuring a loin of lamb; and a particular injunction was given that a kidney should accompany it, as her master had a particular relish for that morsel. She went—but on her master’s return home at four o’clock, with an appetite as sharp as a razor, he found neither ELIZABETH, lamb, kidney, nor peas—she having forgot to return; in consequence of which he was compelled to regale himself on a mutton bone. Being, as might well be supposed, enraged at this circumstance, he went in search of one of the Charleys, and, on returning, found that Miss LIZZY had found her way back in the meantime, stretched out in all her blushing loveliness on a sofa in the best parlour. On being asked to account for this conduct, she pithily exclaimed, “I’m lushey;” and the constable being of the same opinion, carried her away on his shoulder like a lamb to the slaughter. In defence, she attempted to poetize, but the Bench wouldn’t have it—so ELIZABETH was sent on another embassy to GORDON HOUSE, with leave of absence for two months.
See Original: “POLICE INCIDENTS,” The Australian (Sydney, NSW : 1824 – 1848) Monday 28 October 1833, p.3